Heaven and Hell
by wanderingassassin
Summary: Both Heaven and Hell are in disarray over broken seals and falling gates, with angels and demons everywhere trying to solve the problem. Amongst them is the angel Sakura and the demon Syaoran, both desperate to solve the problem at hand...sort of [AU OOC]
1. Chapter One

**Category: **Card Captor Sakura; Sakura x Syaoran (what else?)  
**Author: **Lucy the wandering, lone assassin (AKA Fishie)  
**Rating: **PG-13+ (as of yet)  
**Disclaimer: **The show Card Captor Sakura and all the characters belongs to CLAMP, not me. This story is being written for recreational purposes only, and no profit is being made.  
**Spoilers:** This is an AU (since that seems to be the only type of story I write these days…), so no spoilers, except the appearance of the characters  
**Progress: **1 of a perspective two figure sum  
**General Notes: **I can't remember why I started writing this, but I got the inspiration from somewhere. Anyway, I may criticize religion at random intervals in this story, so please don't read if that's not your thing. This was written as a humor story (I can't ever seem to get the humor correct), which basically means I'll be ranting a fair bit on tangents before reining myself back to the original storyline. This will all be pretty much written during my idiotic moments, and I will not be doing much editing where removing unrelated material is concerned, so I do hope all who read do not mind much. As seems to be happening a lot with my Card Captor stories, my characters are out of character. Ah well…anyway, hope you all enjoy it and review when you're done.  
**Genre: **Romance/Humor, also some supernatural bits and pieces.  
**Music: **Gladiator Soundtrack  
**Summary: **Someone is trying to break into both Heaven and Hell, just when the Seals of both planes were released, throwing both Heaven and Hell into a state of confusion. Amongst the many Angels and Demons struggling to resolve the problem is the angel Sakura and the demon Syaoran, friends despite their differences and desperate to save both Heaven and Hell, as well as the human plane Earth before it is too late. Or at least…one of them is.

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**Heaven and Hell**

1

Heaven is guarded by one grand gate while Hell is blocked by seven. Only a few have wondered about this fact in the past, and even fewer have ever discovered anything related to the truth. One suggestion was that Hell's gates were erected by God to keep the Devil and all his loyal fallen angels (later on known as demons) within its confines, never to escape. But that is hardly true. In reality, Hell's gates were pulled up not to confine souls within, but to keep unwanted souls out.

The concept of Heaven and Hell has long been obscured and played with over the years. When one encounters the word "Hell", one instantly associates it with an unpleasant place reserved for those who sin. However, this is only the outcome of years of misunderstanding. Hell is not a place where the temperatures are always hot, nor is it surrounded by evil creatures with horns and pointed tails. Similarly, Heaven is not just some realm for those pure of spirit, guarded by fateful, pleasant angels. In reality, neither is too different from the other, only Hell has a bad reputation under its belt.

No human who has ever visited either Heaven or Hell is alive to tell the tale, and so in its place, other humans have made up stories. However, Heaven definitely should never be associated with complete purity, nor should Hell be linked immediately to absolute evil.

This is the true story of Heaven and Hell.

2

The city streets swarmed with life, undeterred by the darkness that veiled the sky above. In the olden days, this would have been resting time for humans. But Tom Edison happened, and now streetlamps shone like beacons every few meters, and every building glowed with lights of varying colors. Using stars and the moon as sources of light had become something only strange hermits living so far away that it could only be described as wasteland, and even they had satellite dishes sitting high above their houses over the solar paneling roofing, both sending and receiving signals every millisecond and keeping the "hermit" up-to-date with what was happening with the rest of the world. In fact, even the "hermit" had a lot of light, with his solar panels and all. After the first few years, he was probably living off the excess energy that his trusty roof leached off the sun, earning himself a good deal more on top of the cows grazing in the various pastures on his thirty acre property. Yes, the "hermit" had it pretty damn good. In fact, the "hermit" with his high-tech house was probably not a hermit anymore. It would after all be no big deal for him to order a great deal of alcohol off his high-tech refrigerator (which probably has a voice), call a group of his friends over from other parts of wasteland with his high-tech phone (which would use IP technology, allowing him to call people halfway across the world in Canada for no more than five cents per hour), and spend days drinking and playing cards and watching football off his high-tech plasma television which would easily take up a good portion of the wall (and was obviously connected to his satellite dish, which probably had endured a bit of tweaking itself from one or two of the hermit's friends in the past and could now access Top-Secret military channels filled with non stop porn twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, usually used only by military personnel). Yes, it would only seem fair that the other hermits would kick him out of hermitude, not that any of the other hermits living in their respective high-tech houses around the world were really hermits themselves. But explaining would take up too much time. In any case, it was all Thomas Edison's fault that now Sakura could not find a single dark place in the city. Not that she liked dark places, but they generally helped obscure the fact that she had wings sticking out her back.

The brunet angel fell lightly to a seat on top of a streetlamp, her legs swinging under her as she gazed bored at the city beneath. She instantly spotted four men who obviously had way too much to drink, and as a result kept walking into walls and poles and then either apologizing profusely to the object in question or starting a fight with it. As far as Sakura could tell, the offending objects were winning, and two men were already sporting very bloody foreheads from smashing it repetitively into the wall in an attempt to stun the "enemy". Sakura felt an eyebrow twitch, and turned away instantly in search of something less so pathetic to look at. A car caught her attention. It was a silver convertible with its roof down, something which was particularly strange during peak crime hour in the city on a Friday when all the criminals were busy trying to round up cash to spend over the weekend. The car screeched to a halt next to the lamp post she was sitting on, startling a man who had been arguing with a letterbox. The man complained loudly to the driver for interrupting his most engaging conversation with "Ms. Bigrack", and the driver apologized profusely. It might have sounded sincere, but the smirk on the driver's face was far from it. It looked like the man was going to complain again, but Driver pulled out a revolver and put a bullet into the ground beside the drunken man's feet. The man shrieked and ran, managing to cover more distance and retain his balance much better than before. The other idiots within the vicinity decided to take the shot fired as a sign to go home as well, for there was not a drunk man in sight within two minutes of the trigger being pulled. Driver looked up at Sakura sitting on the streetlamp pole and smirked, bidding her down with one hand while the other holstered his gun. Sakura sighed and jumped, landing gracefully on the ground beside Driver without ruffling her feathers, the man was such an exhibitionist.

'Sakura!' He smiled, taking her in a hug. The angel protested, but Driver would hear none of it as he enclosed her in a tight embrace. When he let go, the stupid smile was still on his face.

'Syaoran.' She acknowledged with a nod of her head. 'You're late.'

'Had to make a pit stop on the way to help an old lady cross the street.' He replied calmly, leaning backwards against his car. Sakura snorted, her green eyes showing obvious skepticism.

'Sure you did Syaoran.' She muttered back sardonically. 'There are just so many old ladies wandering around the city at this time of the night who need demons to help them cross the street. I'm surprised she did not attack you with her walking stick for trying to approach her, especially wearing that stupid trench coat of yours.'

'Hey, don't bag the trench coat.' Syaoran defended immediately, amber eyes flashing. 'I happen to like it.'

'It makes you look like you just stepped out of a Marvel comic.' Sakura intoned, giving the coat a look of distaste before staring up at her companion. 'So, heard anything recently.'

'Hmm...' Syaoran looked considerate. 'Lucifer told me off for meeting you again and threatened to demote me from being right under him on the hierarchy if it continued, but he won't actually do anything because he's almost my brother, and brothers don't do that sort of thing to each other. That and he told me that I can't cook if my life depended on it, well, that's why we have a cook so I don't know why he's making such a fuss about it.'

'Syaoran...' Sakura looked tired. 'For once in your life, do try to be slightly serious. We may actually have a problem on our hands. The seal in the Forbidden Temple has been broken, and somebody has been attacking at the main gate of Heaven! That sort of thing just doesn't happen Syaoran.'

'Yea, the seal broke in Hell as well.' Syaoran admitted, lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag. Sakura glared in distaste, but did not comment. 'And some idiot has been attacking at the First Gate as well, but unlike Heaven, we in Hell are more intelligent. We had the brains to erect seven, so one gate falling isn't as much worry to us as it is to you.'

'Syaoran, I'm worried.' Sakura fretted, hands flailing. 'Both seals have broken and there are people trying to sneak into Heaven and Hell, and the only lead we have is that the seal from Heaven broke and leapt into the body of a human girl.'

'Wow, that eliminates half the world's population. Nice going.' Syaoran smiled. 'That leaves you with another four billion people to sort through, but hey, that can't be too difficult. But if it makes you feel any better, we in Hell are no where closer to finding out where our seal went, not that Lucifer is particularly worried. He's just been staring at a map of Hell and devising ways to prevent the possible perpetrators from entering Hell and causing havoc. Everybody down there is on Third Level Battle Alert and the First Gate hasn't even fallen yet. I think they are all just a bit hungry for some action, seriously. I can think of a million better things to be doing. And just to clarify things, we don't know if it is actually people doing it, in fact, I highly doubt that it has anything to do with people at all.'

'Syaoran you idiot, you're not hearing me!' Sakura exploded, alerting a few stragglers who have just decided to enter the neighborhood to leave immediately. 'Of course the demons in Hell are going to be under Third Level Alert, we in Heaven have already moved up to the intermediary between Orange and Red Alert. This could really be trouble if both Heaven and Hell's Gates fall simultaneously, which seems to be the objective for these idiots who we can't see.'

'I don't think they're idiots.' Syaoran muttered thoughtfully, taking another drag from his cigarette. 'To do something like this, they must have brains. But I can't see why everybody is so worried. Why don't you all fall back and depend on the power of your oh powerful God. He'll save you.'

'Syaoran...' Sakura growled. Syaoran threw up both hands quickly, indicating surrender while the brown-haired Angel calmed down. 'You know as well as I do that God is not some divine being that knows all. He is merely in charge of Heaven, as is your half-brother is in charge of Hell. God is no closer to knowing how to prevent further mishaps from occurring as the Devil is.'

'Lucifer.' Syaoran said firmly. 'He hates being called the Devil, makes him feel evil.'

'Right...' Sakura sighed. 'In any case, I'm going to do some looking around and search for the girl holding the Divine Spirit of Heaven. I suppose you should go look for the person who now holds the Evil Spirit of Hell.'

'Must you stick so closely to human stupidity?' Syaoran asked crossly. 'We don't have an "Evil Spirit of Hell" wandering around, and anyway, why must you give it such a long name. Can't you just call it the Seal or something?'

'The seal is the thing that broke, not the thing that is now on earth, idiot.' Sakura rubbed her temples irritably. It seemed that Syaoran always had that effect on her, so much so that she did not know why they were still on speaking terms with each other, especially at such a big risk for themselves. Heaven and Hell, although not opposites, have always been against each other, and friendship between Angels and Demons were definitely not allowed.

'Fine, fine, I'll go do some looking as well.' Syaoran sighed, took one last drag from his cigarette and threw it on the ground, killing the flame with his foot. A cool wind blew by and the Angel shivered slightly, cursing herself silently for not wearing a cloak. She was just about to head off when Syaoran pulled the black trench coat around her shoulders. He gave her one of his stupid smiles, got in his car and drove off.

Sakura stared as the car rounded a corner and disappeared from her line of vision. She clutched the coat tight around her, smelling the heavy scent of tobacco smoke and rain. She gazed upwards, checking for clouds that weren't there. She sighed, gaze falling to the floor where the crushed cigarette was still smoking slightly. Funny, in all the years that she had known him, never once did she realize Syaoran smelt like rain. And tobacco too, she thought to herself, wondering just when he first picked up that habit.

The light overhead flickered once. When it came back on, Sakura was gone.

The cigarette but continued to smoke on the sidewalk.

---

To be continued…

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**Endnotes:**

Not much to say really. Hope you all enjoyed it, and please review! I crave feedback (like practically every other author).


	2. Chapter Two

**Author: **Still me, Assassin or the fish.

**Notes: **I'm writing again, sort of. Think this calls for a celebration and the promise of the apocalypse. Thank you all you who reviewed. I am very glad you're enjoying this silly piece of fiction, and hope you will keep enjoying the fic. Hope all you readers had a wonderful Christmas, and a happy upcoming New Year.

**Music: **Evergreen – Hyde; Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence – Ryuchi Sakamoto; Let it Snow – Michael Buble; My December – Josh Groban; Free Bird – Haibane Renmei; Living inside the Shell – Steve Conte

* * *

**Heaven and Hell**

Chapter two

3

To say that Sakura was irritable was an understatement. It was a warm, summers day, and she was sitting on a park bench wearing the most tremendous cloak she could find to obscure her white wings. Since dawn when she first sat on the bench, she had been clutching that cloak tightly around her, desperate not to let anybody see the wings that no normal human should have. However, it was now three in the afternoon (according to the large clock tower peaking between two large and completely modern buildings), and her patience was wearing thin. No, at that moment, she did not feel like she had any patience whatsoever, and if that stupid demon did not show up within the next minute, she was going to use some magical powers prohibited on the human plane just to show her anger. But then God would be angry at her, and a few of the higher angels would scold her and put her in one of the Devine Prisons.

Of course, the minute passed by, followed by twenty others and still the demon did not arrive.

Sakura could feel the material of her cloak ripping beneath her fingers.

It was only as the clock tower chimed again, announcing that it was four in the afternoon, roughly nine hours after when she first arrived, did the demon finally make his appearance. Sakura heard the telltale whine of Syaoran's convertible as it skidded around a corner, before the silver car charged into existence, skidding to an awkward halt beside the pedestrian street. The door was shoved smoothly open, and out stepped Syaoran, the most unpunctual demon Sakura had ever met (not that she knew many other demons, but at least "always late" never came up during her superior's rants about Lucifer of Hell). Today, he was dressed in an expensive-looking (and Sakura reminded herself that it probably was expensive, considering Syaoran's tastes) business suit, complete with leather shoes polished to perfection and a navy tie. The smile he was wearing was the sort that would usually take the breath out of any young woman, and might have worked on Sakura as well, had she not known the demon in question so well.

'You're late.' She growled, sounding very much like an enraged, large cat.

'I do have a day job you know, and my secretary just wouldn't let me leave after our meeting was over.'

'So you're nine hours late because you were too busy staring at her breasts?' Sakura could feel her left eye twitching in a most unsettling fashion.

'Hey, don't worry honey, your chest is the only one I'm interested in.' Syaoran grinned, dodging the punch Sakura sent his way with practiced skill. 'Besides, it wasn't her chest that kept me there. Apparently she had made a bunch of appointments for today which I was supposed to attend, because apparently she didn't hear me when I told her I was supposed to meet a charming angel in the morning. Well, I couldn't disappoint the clients, so I went to the many meetings and lunches and came out feeling positively awful that I've left you sitting around, but you people in Heaven are so behind with modern technology, hence I couldn't call you to reschedule. I got here as fast as I could.'

'Syaoran.' Sakura's voice was calm, controlled, in fact, it was so calm and controlled that even Syaoran would recognize its implications.

'Yea?'

Or maybe not.

'Listen, I'm sure being the Prince of Hell guarantees you a lot of amnesties and room for disappointment. But let me state quite clearly now, if you are late once more, there will never be another meeting between the two of us, and I am quite serious when I say that. This three thousand year relationship between us will be over, and don't think I would feel any remorse because of it.'

'You're so harsh Sakura.' Syaoran was grinning that infuriating grin of his, and Sakura was certain she heard a girl sigh behind her. 'But don't worry, I solemnly swear that I will never be late again!'

'You better not be.' Sakura sighed, suddenly feeling much too old for this sort of banter. 'So, news and other important things.'

'Dinner.'

'Begging your pardon?'

'You don't need to beg for it.' Syaoran was lighting up a cigarette, the whole action looking very James Dean. 'But you said important things, I said dinner. Food is very important you know Sakura.'

'Your head is going to roll soon.'

'Fine.' Syaoran took another drag of his cigarette. 'The first gate of Hell has fallen, and Lucifer is really peeved. He sees it as a taunt from someone who, Hell forbid, has more ability than him. In any case, he's assigned a bunch of demons to fix the gate, told me not to do anything stupid like find those responsible and then join them simply because they have better food. He has so little faith I me, really, I wouldn't forego our blood relations just because someone is going to offer me better cuisine than what he has in stock. He also told me to stop hanging around you again, which I think he's really saying just for appearances' sake, because in the three thousand years he's been preaching me on the matter, nothing has happened. That and my secretary has dyed her hair red, which reminds me of my previous secretary, which led into a rather annoying mix-up this morning whereby I called her Sharon instead of Candy. What kind of a name is Candy anyway?'

'The kind you hire.' Sakura sighed, sitting back down on the bench. 'Well, our gate hasn't fallen yet, but the angels are definitely restless. There haven't been any new breakthroughs on the Devine Spirit of Heaven and quite frankly, I am very tired. Of all times, the seals have to break with the potential falling of the Gate and I really don't want to deal with any of it right now.'

'That's the spirit honey!' Syaoran grinned. 'Just let everyone else take care of it, it's not really your problem anyway.'

'Syaoran!'

'Speaking of which, come with me.' The next thing Sakura knew, Syaoran was carrying her and dropping her in the passenger seat of his car before climbing in, cigarette crushed on the sidewalk. She was going to protest, really she was, but sometimes, there really was no saying "no" to the man, and the weariness of all the drama happening and waiting around at Central Park for the better part of a day washed over her all at once, leaving her sleeping comfortably against the seat.

Had she been awake, she would have seen the smile on Syaoran's face, so similar to all the times he smiled at her, and so different with a gentleness that Sakura would probably never see.

4

'Where's my brother?'

Lucifer was mad, mad and angry and very hungry. It just was not right for the Almighty Lord of Hell to be hungry, but their cook was on holiday with his wife, and Lucifer could hardly deny a thousand-year anniversary, even if it meant him starving on his throne while wondering where his idiot brother had gone.

No, scrap that. He knew where Syaoran had gone, and the knowledge did not make him feel any better. That brother of his was with that angel again, he was certain. Oh, he knew that Syaoran had left that morning saying something about going to work, but work ended an hour ago, and he was still not back. Lucifer did not like fretting over his brother, it made him look…un-masculine, had there been a word for the antonym of masculine that wasn't quite so feminine. But in any case, he had his plate full with all the goings-on within Hell, without his brother's secret rendezvous to worry about.

'He's out, sire.' The servant replied, rummaging through his laptop in search of the precise details of where Syaoran was at the moment. 'It says that he is with Angel Sakura again.'

, but no

'That brat.' Lucifer scowled. 'I don't even want to count the number of times I've told him not to associate with angels, but will he ever listen? Like Heaven. Does it say when he's getting back?'

'He left it at tentative sir.' The servant answered. 'He wrote something quick about dinner perhaps, followed by two lines of gibberish.'

'How very like him.' Lucifer sighed. 'Send word for a meeting then, since I'm not going to have food or my brother to interrogate any time soon, we might as well focus on this Gates problem again.'

5

Sakura sighed, leaning slightly into the warmth against her cheek as consciousness returned once more. She could feel the evening sun on her face, and smell the distinct scent of salt in the air. She had not smelt something like it in quite some time, although her groggy brain supplied her with a pretty image of blue skies and white sand and green-blue ocean. She smiled at the thought, dismissing it only a moment later, for the city she was in was a good distance from anything vaguely resembling the beach. Still, she opened her eyes slowly, squinting slightly as she caught sight of the setting sun hovering ever so slightly over a definitely real sea.

Still blinking and wondering whether her mind was playing tricks with her, Sakura sat up slowly, seeing the seagulls fly in the distance and feeling the sea breeze brush past her face, ruffling her hair. It was beautiful, a sight she had not seen in a very long time.

'Took you a while.' She jumped slightly, suddenly remembering that Syaoran was with her. A glance to her left revealed that the demon was indeed still there, leaning back against his seat with his feet propped on the steering wheel. 'Thought you weren't going to wake up until the sun already set.'

'Syaoran! Where are we?' Sakura sat up stiffly, pulling the jacket tightly around herself. 'We shouldn't be anywhere near the beach!'

'We weren't.' Syaoran grinned. 'Broke more than a dozen road laws to get us here, but it's sure worth it isn't it?'

'Yes, it's very beautiful.' Sakura relaxed a little. 'I hope you didn't kill anyone.'

'I don't kill people Sakura.' Syaoran looked repulsed by the thought. 'But I did scare more than a handful of them. Still, you looked like you needed the relaxation a lot more than they needed their wits, so it was a fair trade really.'

Sakura smiled, finally reminded of why she risked her career to be friends with such a frivolous demon. Syaoran grinned, getting out of the car quickly and rushing over to Sakura's side to open the door for her. Sakura laughed, taking Syaoran's outstretched hand and letting him guide her towards the beach.

Sakura did not say much as they walked down the beach, watching the sunset while Syaoran told tale after tale of events which happened in the office. After a while, even Syaoran fell into silence, and they settled down on a nice stretch of beach shaded by the overhanging cliff. Sakura removed her coat finally, letting her wings stretch behind her, taking in the salty air and throwing sand into Syaoran's face. When he retaliated with a rude comment and the promise of painful things to her wings, Sakura felt more at peace than she had in hundreds of years.

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**Endnotes:**

Yea, absolutely random, but some sap for all of you around this Christmasy-New year season!

Assassin


End file.
